Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

Quotes

• “Redemption, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin through their murder of the deity against whom they ...”
• “HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There arefour kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiab...”
• “Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable.Dictionar...”
• “Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all ...”
• “Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.”
• “Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.”
• “NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.”
• “Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.”
• “Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”
• “Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”
• “Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.”
• “Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”