Bill Watterson

Quotes

• “CALVIN:This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?If the guy exists ...”
• “Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin...”
• “CALVIN:When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and...”
• “You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school....”
• “Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probabl...”
• “That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonde...”
• “Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?”
• “To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.”
• “Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.”
• “We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.”
• “Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!”
• “In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.”
• “Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?”
• “The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity.”
• “That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.”
• “Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.”
• “Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.”
• “I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
• “You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.”
• “Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!”
• “CALVIN:Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.”
• “I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”
• “I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.”
• “It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.”
• “Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.”
• “HOBBES:If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams.”
• “I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.”
• “I liked things better when I didn't understand them.”
• “When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”
• “CALVIN:As usual goodness hardly puts up a fight.”
• “From now on I’ll connect the dots my own way.”
• “If you can't win by reason, go for volume.”
• “HOBBES:Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.”