Celia Rivenbark

Quotes

• “I don't define success by how much money someone makes. I don't define success by how many trophies or plaques or awards...”
• “[Reverend James] Dobson says that the [Spongebob Squarepants] video would be watched by millions of elementary school st...”
• “She suggested we 'crouch' buck nekkid on the bed or a dresser and leap out at him from the shadows.Now, my husband can't...”
• “I really loathe [the bumper sticker] 'Proud Parent of a Terrific Kid!'Why not a bumper sticker for the unlucky parents, ...”
• “Pecans are not cheap, my hons. In fact, in the South, the street value of shelled pecans just before holiday baking seas...”
• “My friends scoffed at my anxiety and said dumb things like, 'Fifty is the new forty!' Which just made me realize that th...”
• “Never invite someone who is speaking a foreign language in your presence to "Go back to your country." The only time tha...”
• “Okay, let's see if I got this straight. The butt is the new breast, and the lower back is the new ankle. Now if only we ...”
• “Who can fail to mist at Fergie's anthem, 'My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps.' Hmmm. 'My lunch, my lunch, I swear ...”