Ellen Degeneres

Quotes

• “If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one another and all that st...”
• “Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a ...”
• “Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers arou...”
• “While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoeve...”
• “I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go...”
• “I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think ...”
• “For some reason, we can't just enjoy somebody else's success. Somehow, that's going to affect us. If they have more, the...”
• “Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that t...”
• “I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That'...”
• “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the ...”
• “You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it'...”
• “I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.”
• “One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.”
• “Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.”
• “Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.”
• “I would love for the world to be happier.”
• “Procrastinate now, don't put it off.”