George Carlin, Brain Droppings

Quotes

• “It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford ...”
• “No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, relig...”
• “I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's...”
• “You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo...”
• “So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.”
• “Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.”
• “THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.”
• “I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.”
• “If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.”