Jarod Kintz, There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can't

Quotes

• “Grandpa always used to make me ride in the bed of his pickup truck, so he could keep up his conversations with the 100-p...”
• “It’s been said that the most successful people are often early risers. So that’s why I started getting up in the afterno...”
• “I’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a hearty breakfast, it would really freak me out...”
• “I make art for one person and one person only. And as soon as I find that one person, I sure hope he has a lot of wall s...”
• “My close friends are fond of telling me that I put the “yalt” in loyalty. Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far with it,...”
• “The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I hav...”
• “My parents always said that knowledge was the best gift they could give me, probably because they were too cheap to buy ...”
• “I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size,"and I thought, That's odd, I didn't know too many f...”
• “I’ve often wondered why more science textbooks don’t tell teenagers that the only thing sharks like to eat more than fis...”
• “Flowers and fear are a lot alike. For one, flowers and fear have a distinct smell, and two, I’m currently trying to grow...”
• “I’ve always felt that the best place to hide a body is in the trunk of a cop car, with a note affixed to the body that r...”
• “A lot of people go searching for “Truth.” But they can’t be searching too hard, because very few of them ever think to l...”
• “Sometimes I wish Jim Morrison were still alive, because I'd love to see a concert in which "The Doors"opened up for "The...”
• “I love tables. And dancing. Oh, and I love table dancing, although Grandmother always says, "Wait until we're finished e...”
• “And then he said the next time he sees me the gloves are coming off. I said, "Doc, that‘s no way to perform a prostrate ...”
• “If writers write, then rangers range. And I’d like to wake up every morning and be a mother, so I could eat my own cloth...”
• “I’d love to work with an Asian guy named Wu Hu, because just saying his name would get me all pumped up and excited.”
• “Moral codes are like the ocean. Some people live by them, while others, such as myself, would rather live by a lake.”
• “I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them.”
• “The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to call some plays.”
• “I have a real problem keeping friends. I'm always running out of space in my freezer.”
• “There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t”
• “The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago.”
• “I don't want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much.”