P.G. Wodehouse

Quotes

• “I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a normal bloke ought to p...”
• “One of the first lessons life teaches us is that on these occasions of back-chat between the delicately-natured, a man s...”
• “[On writing Jeeves and Wooster stories]:You tell yourself that you can take Jeeves stories or leave them alone, that one...”
• “One of the Georges," said Psmith, "I forget which, once said that a certain number of hours' sleep a day--I cannot recal...”
• “I felt most awfully braced. I felt as if the clouds had rolled away and all was as it used to be. I felt like one of tho...”
• “He was always in a sort of fever because he was dropping behind schedule with his daily acts of kindness. However hard h...”
• “She was, in short, melted by his distress, as so often happens with the female sex. Poets have frequently commented on t...”
• “Have you ever seen a man, woman, or child who wasn’t eating an egg or just going to eat an egg or just coming away from ...”
• “At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that she was tall and willo...”
• “I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad ...”
• “I’m not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it’s Shakespeare—or, if not, it’s some equally brainy lad—who...”
• “What George was thinking was that the late king Herod had been unjustly blamed for a policy which had been both statesma...”
• “Luck is a goddess not to be coerced and forcibly wooed by those who seek her favours. From such masterful spirits she tu...”
• “I have been studying the principles of socialism deeply of late, and I came to the conclusion that I must join the cause...”
• “...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. It resembled the move...”
• “It's brain," I said; "pure brain! What do you do to get like that, Jeeves? I believe you must eat a lot of fish, or some...”
• “You see, the catch about portrait painting—I've looked into the thing a bit— is that you can't startpainting portraits t...”
• “It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a t...”
• “If girls realized their responsibilities they would be so careful when they smiled that they would probably abandon the ...”
• “NOW, touching this business of old Jeeves – my man, you know – how do we stand? Lots of people think I’m much too depend...”
• “Water!' cried Marie.'Vinegar!' recommended the bell-boy.'Eu-de-Cologne!' said Bill.'Pepper!' said Lord Tidmouth.Mary had...”
• “I couldn't have made a better shot, if I had been one of those detectives who see a chap walking along the street and de...”
• “This is the age of the specialist, and years ago Rollo had settled on his career. Even as a boy, hardly capable of conne...”
• “The cells smell is a great feature of French prisons. Ours in No.44 was one of those fine broad-shouldered up and coming...”
• “[T]he success of every novel -- if it's a novel of action -- depends on the high spots. The thing to do is to say to you...”
• “You won't mind my calling you Comrade, will you? I've just become a socialist. It's a great scheme. You ought to be one....”
• “Feminine psychology is admittedly odd, sir. The poet Pope...""Never mind about the poet Pope, Jeeves.""No, sir.""There a...”
• “A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its ...”
• “Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtiv...”
• “One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours' sleep each night - I cannot recall at th...”
• “...there occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on my tombstone. It was ...”
• “Lady Constance's lips tightened, and a moment passed during which it seemed always a fifty-fifty chance that a handsome ...”
• “I'm bound to say that New York's a topping place to be exiled in. Everybody was awfully good to me, and there seemed to ...”
• “Why do you want a political career? Have you ever been in the House of Commons and taken a good look at the inmates? As ...”
• “[T]he success of every novel -- if it's a novel of action -- depends on the high spots. The thing to do is to say to you...”
• “I mean, if you're asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it's absurd ...”
• “[A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothing puts the reader of...”
• “At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if ...”
• “Squiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the soul?''Oh, rather!''W...”
• “Suiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the soul?''Oh, rather!''Wh...”
• “Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde...”
• “She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew ...”
• “She laughed - a bit louder than I could have wished in my frail state of health, but then she is always a woman who tend...”
• “Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored ob...”
• “Girls do go for the finely-chiselled. And apart from his looks, he's and artist, and there's something about artists tha...”
• “Captain Bradbury's right eyebrow had now become so closely entangled with his left that there seemed no hope of ever ext...”
• “When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anar...”
• “And so the merry party began. It was one of those jolly, happy, bread-crumbling parties where you cough twice before you...”
• “I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this...”
• “It went automatically to a heavy-weight mother with beetling eyebrows who looked as if she had just come from doing a sp...”