P.J. O'Rourke

Quotes

• “The Hollywooden heads would buy a car for almost any purpose except a worthy one. Many automobiles were purchased to att...”
• “Considering what a hot, wed dog smells like, dog stew has a surprisingly savory odor To tell the truth, it tastes pretty...”
• “The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your...”
• “The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your...”
• “The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with thr...”
• “It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effor...”
• “We all know how 'modern democracies take loaves from the wealthy.' It's the slipups in the 'pass them out to the poor' d...”
• “There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human dut...”
• “Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government do it to somebody else. Thi...”
• “Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you...”
• “Even I realized that money was to politicians what the eucalyptus tree is to koala bears: food, water, shelter, and some...”
• “One of the problems with being a writer is that all of your idiocies are still in print somewhere. I strongly support pa...”
• “The whole idea of government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not ...”
• “The American political system is like fast food--mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things...and everybody ...”
• “You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they'r...”
• “We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it...”
• “Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.”
• “The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.”
• “Americans appreciate bad taste or America wouldn’t look the way America does.”
• “The average IQ in America is—and this can be proven mathematically—average.”
• “Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.”
• “If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.”