St. John Morris

Quotes

• “He had also spent a day and a half without sleep trying to start an online petition to bring back the advert for Nationw...”
• “St John had been sitting in the back garden twizzling a pencil, on the end of which a russet deposit was impaled, which ...”
• “Eunice had deposited St John upon the balcony of the first-floor apartment of former Liberal MP, The Rt. Hon. Leonard Co...”
• “On the other side of St John’s house is a fake egg timer who can’t maintain an erection. He shares the property with a g...”
• “Next door to the Bensons is Emmet Frag, a retired pacemaker who is credited with inventing the notion of happiness. He’s...”
• “Oh yeah, well I suddenly realises that she’d only been with my boyfriend at the Co-op Christmas do when I were eighteen....”
• “Tobak Davenport, who is a cross between some Sugar Puffs and Lynn Faulds-Wood, was squatting there before being removed ...”
• “The Macedonian Endeavour Channel was screening live coverage of the world series of the Who’s Got the Stupidest Name (WG...”
• “I once went to one of his Virgin Vie parties and had a really good time watching Chas having a paddy whilst trying to pu...”
• “There was Arctic John, a businessman from Salisbury who doesn’t hold water, Bruce Knott, a social worker from Cumberland...”
• “St John had always been a fan of the RS Turbo, mainly due to the colour coded rear spoiler and air vents in the bonnet, ...”
• “Private Benjamin lives next door but one to Bob Cryer from The Bill. I once saw him crouching down behind a sycamore tre...”
• “Her protestations were drowned out by the sound of Gordon Honeycomb barfing up aftershock into the kitchenette sink.”
• “Beetroot Cossins had moved to Kuala Lumpur where she had died of lethargy and pie.”
• “You little prick. It's a whelk...it's a...it's a...dead whelk!”
• “What have you got in there you little bastard?”
• “Your toaster’s a puff.”