Stephen Colbert, I Am America

Quotes

• “A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never b...”
• “America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best."Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children."We've become a n...”
• “Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.”
• “All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.”
• “Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.”