Woody Allen

Quotes

• “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is ...”
• “There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and ...”
• “I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time....”
• “Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get o...”
• “Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
• “If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.”
• “Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”
• “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”
• “The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.”
• “I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.”
• “If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.”
• “I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.”
• “The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.”
• “Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.”
• “All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.”
• “I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.”
• “It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.”
• “I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.”
• “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
• “You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.”
• “I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.”
• “I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
• “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
• “Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.”
• “To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.”
• “Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”
• “My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”
• “Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!”
• “Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.”
• “I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.”
• “God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.”
• “If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”
• “My brain? That's my second favorite organ.”
• “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
• “Marriage is the death of hope.”
• “I read in self-defense.”