Humorous-quotes Quotes
Quotes about Humorous-quotes
41 quotes
- “I've been waiting for this a long time."-Martin "Let me guess that you're wishing for your IQ to break double figures?"-...” — Benedict Jacka
- “Macho and manly and stern and, oh man. Sam sighed. Guys like this were never gay. They were always the ones chasing the ...” — Anne Tenino
- “You act like the sorcerers are invading the continent for the sole joy of hunting me down and lobbing me off of tall obj...” — V. St. Clair
- “Going down 6% grades using only a hand brake and low gears wasn’t for sissies and, in retrospect, might have been for id...” — Jeffrey H Ryan
- “I didn't want to tell him that I was so wet that Noah would have had to build an ark to avoid the flood in my pants - Mo...” — Z.b. Heller
- “Are you sure you have enough sweetener in that? I could offer to conscript the rest of the cubes from the galley for you...” — K.l. Tharp
- “While a kind man was working up the nerve to ask me on a date, I was working up the nerve to kill him with my bare hands” — Amy Mcauley
- “And most of the time, when you're young and dumb - you know everything! Charles Freeman Lee bebop pianist and trumpeter” — Annette Johnson
- “What's more, he was going to have a full American breakfast with bacon and eggs, none of this continental bullshit.” — Gish Jen
- “You soon know the difference between a real newspaper and an electronic one as soon as a fly won't leave you alone.” — Jeremy Lee
- “I am a negative person by nature, and I typically shy away from anything that requires me to be having visible fun.” — Samantha Irby
- “Oh, I usually pray in Spanish, speak French to my boyfriend, curse in Dutch, and talk German to my German Shepherd” — Justin W.m. Roberts
- “I've known him since dirt was new, Papaw laughed. We go way back...Dawg Papaw, that's a long time! Mark exclaimed.” — Mary Hubbert Jones
- “The interesting part of life is; when you start to be negative about others, it starts negatively with you first.” — Ajith Isaiah Majok
- “What is that thing? It looks like a model of the human digestive tract made from broken beer bottles and sadness.” — Robert Kroese
- “A teacher asked me once, what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told her a clown and she asked me if I was joking” — Ivan Baublitz
- “Said Opie Read to E.P. Roe,"How do you like Gaboriau?""I like him very much indeed!"Said E.P. Roe to Opie Read.” — Julian Street
- “I measure my days by the number of homicidal thoughts I have. I only had two today. So it must have been good.” — Lida Sideris
- “Just because someone’s a pain in the ass in life, doesn’t mean when they’re dead, we shouldn’t be respectful.” — M. Judeth Nelson
- “It's easy to have high morals when you'd be safe naked in the middle of San Quentin Prison.” — Ed Williams
- “Fiction is but a moment of bliss that takes the pain away...Like a cookie for the soul...” — Leona Keyoko Pink
- “I am an existential libertarian humanist cocksucker. Now, what else do you want to know?” — Remesh R.
- “Everyone loves to slander everyone, and indulge in it willingly at anytime and anywhere.” — Ankita Kapoor
- “Join us B+ people! Life is not neat and tidy, but we always manage to get the job done!” — Tracey Kidder
- “you'll accomlish more with a kind word and a gun, than you will with a kind word alone.” — Al Capone
- “From my novel, "A Twist in Travel:Fate," "What, you've never seen a grown man naked?!” — Bobby Simonds
- “One of my favorite quotes is:"... If I strike you it ain't going to be in your fancy.” — Shannon Stacey
- “I screamed, Go to hell! in the car, and the GPS took me to my mother-in-law's house.” — Emma Beasley
- “Life without risks is like a burrito without Tabasco. Bland, but you’ll still fart.” — Martyn V. Halm
- “If you think I'm overdramatic, just remember that Candy Crush calls itself a saga.” — Randi Lawson
- “My sight, hearing and strength are superior and I can fly. What more do you want?” — E.m. Cooper
- “His overactive charm poured out like a lone drainage pipe after a flash flood.” — Lida Sideris
- “If you don't have a headache by the end of this class, I'm not doing my job.” — Kristy Moody
- “Fainting is for preteen girls and those really weird goats. I do not faint!” — Melissa F. Olson
- “All decisions are taken two levels above the highest level of understanding” — David K. Brown
- “Mother-in-laws are necessary, as are mosquitoes, athlete's foot, and beets.” — Ed Williams
- “Uncle Drew shouts. “You are a disgrace. Your mother should have swallowed.” — Tara Sivec Love And Lists
- “despair all ye mortals,” he said in a voice of doom. “the mama approacheth” — Lexi George
- “Feeling old? Remember, you will never again be as young as your are today.” — Raymond C. Nolan
- “Well done girl, I . . I admire your treachery.' Ecruba hissed at Edith.” — Anna Moore
- “Lending books to other people is merely a shrewd form of housecleaning.” — Joe Queenan