Humorous Quotes
Quotes about Humorous
71 quotes
- “He’s an even-tempered stallion. What he lacks in stamina he makes up for in speed, kind of like most of the men I’ve sle...” — Lila Shaw
- “You know I hate to chase. I'm only here to talk, but if you run, I'll have to chase and we both know where that usually ...” — Kaye Chambers
- “White? That's good. virginal. He'll be reminded this is a first for you and hopefully won't just impale you on his pork ...” — Carmen Jenner
- “When someone says "just saying" what they really mean is, "You would be a colossal idiot to not take my advice." (on Fac...” — Stephen Altrogge
- “I'm going to do something bigger and better,bigger and betterand bolder, but first,I'm going to do somethingsmaller and ...” — Jonarno Lawson
- “Josh is the company tech expert, which means we all think he’s a little bit shaman, a little bit magician, and mostly a ...” — Julia Kent
- “If you had a piece of coal, we could hold her down, shove it up her ass, and come collect a big, fat diamond in a few da...” — M. Leighton
- “All right, we need a way to get inot the palace. Any ideas?""Ask nicely? Charge in? Fly? Wait, do you mean reasonable on...” — Noelle Crawford
- “All right, we need a way to get into the palace. Any ideas?""Ask nicely? Charge in? Fly? Wait, do you mean reasonable on...” — Noelle Crawford
- “So we waited. I felt useless. I felt like I was in the way. I wished I had some nervous habits so I could indulge in the...” — Moira J. Moore
- “Father giving advice to son: Never do anything once around the house that you don't want to do for the rest of your life...” — Frank Briggs
- “The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have become super good friends...” — Sariah Wilson
- “Mother said we had reached the Age of Reason and had to be good now. We must have because we wanted Willy Starr instead.” — Marie Clair
- “You can shit in one hand and wish in another and see which one gets full faster. Or... you can just take my word for it.” — C.v. Hunt
- “Oh crap! Someone is asking me to quote myself. Why don't they just ask me to drink acid and run naked into a snowdrift?” — Elizabeth Anglin
- “Yet sometimes you just have to sprinkle a dash of sugar on the spoonful of pride and swallow it with a humility chaser.” — Erica Larsen
- “I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff… and I want in..” — Homer Simpson
- “Which just goes to show, I guess, that dinner parties are like everything else - not as fragile as we think they are.” — Julie Powell
- “Can I have my ear back?" He asked irritably.She blinked."Mother, can you tell this creature here to loosen her hold?” — Anya Wylde
- “I do," Ellie said, then groaned inwardly. Those were the words that had put her in this position in the first place.” — Gerri Russell
- “I don't care what you people say...we are not using a font that does not have fucking serifs." - Rook Myfanwy Thomas” — Daniel O'malley
- “You said, ‘Ramsey…oh Ramsey…please.’ Please, what?” She looked him straight in the eyes. “Please…let my people go!” — Tessa Dawn
- “I met a few chimpanzees on my pilgrimages and I wasn't sure if they were just shrivelled-up villagers or chimps...” — Jonathan Dunne
- “Awoke to find three vultures sitting on the fence. Realizing they were a portent of impending death I shot them.” — Bridget Allison
- “[To my enemy:] Some are great, some are born great, some have greatness thrust upon them! And then there's you.” — Reginald Dipwipple
- “He downed the last of his coffee, carried his mug over to the pot, poured himself a refill, and returned to the” — Lynda Hilburn
- “Writers cleave together like a demonic AA group - we are singularly able to dance with each other's devils...” — J.d. Young
- “Unicorns aren't magical and beautiful. They're just predatory horses that have horns and love to eat virgins.” — Delilah S. Dawson
- “Optimism is a gift, but one that must be carefully controlled. Your hopeful optimism will get us all killed!” — Noelle Crawford
- “Writing is a wonderful way to spend the day. Particularly when the alternative is housework!” — J. Mary Masters
- “If we take the president of GM, they'll make us pay to give him back." (said by a kidnapper)” — Owen Laukkanen
- “Yeah 'cause throwing knives at a girk is totally Going to get her to like you. #Tobiaslogic” — Based Off Of Veronica Roth's Very Own Divergent
- “Write. Write write write write WRITE. Write. Now.(This is an inspirational writing quote.)” — Jen Lynn Anderson
- “I'm trying to think but nothing happens. ~ Curlie. That feeling I get with writer's block!” — Curlie Q. Link
- “But the best part of catching Neil in the shower was, hands down, the loud, awful singing.” — Abigail Barnette
- “If you were an animal, what would you be?" I wrote, "A bumblebee trying to fuck a marble.” — Wells Tower
- “If at first you don't succeed, try again.If you still don't succeed, blame someone else.” — Jeffrey S. Trosin
- “Two kinds of people always lie about their ages: actresses and Latin American pitchers.” — Jess Walter
- “Hope was like frogs praying for wings so they didn't bump their asses when they hopped” — Sherri Desbois
- “I took your name when I took those vowsI meant 'em back then and I mean 'em right now.” — The Band Perry
- “I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.” — Gary Shandling
- “The reason politics makes strange bedfellows is because they all like the same bunk.” — Los Angeles Times
- “Do you always travel with such cumbersome books?''I don't trust anyone who wouldn't.” — Doug Dorst
- “In arguing, what people lack in intellect they usually make up for in name-calling.” — C Vallo
- “Never get married in the morning because you never know who you'll meet that night.” — Paul Hornung
- “An oldtimer is a person who's had many interesting experiences, some of them true.” — Bob Gilluly
- “Seduction is the art of saying what you don't do in order to do what you don't say” — Löis Lancaster
- “With sunglasses, a hat, and half a pack of Band-Aids, Roger could pass as a human.” — Nadia Higgins
- “My son's got the I.Q. Of a robot but I don't have the dough to send him to school.” — Jonathan Dunne
- “You’re a terrible woman Nox, but by the stars I love you beyond words themselves,” — K. K Weakley